The Glory of the Intercessor

A couple of days ago I was discouraged. (side note: isn't that an interesting word? If you look at it dis-couraged it must mean your courage was taken away or made useless. hmm) I was praying but I was restless. There was a problem (I am going to leave out where the problem was to protect the innocent), but I wanted to take everything in my hands and FIX this problem myself. I couldn't do that due to the nature of the problem and THAT made me restless! That is what made my courage useless (I like it ((lots of parenthesis today huh!)).
Well as usual my wonderful God had a plan in the midst of it all. I was complaining to God about the fact that HE wouldn't let ME fix this issue, when God for lack of a better term told me to SHUT UP! (yes, God DOES talk that way).
He said simply. "I want to teach you the Glory of being an intercessor."
"What?" was my only reply.
"I am taking your hands off of EVERYTHING so I can teach you that the place of the intercessor is to be more cherished by you than the place of the hero, the mechanic, Mr Fix it. The place of hiding I am putting you in between porch and altar. I want you to despise what you can do and LOVE what I can do."
"Ugh"was my reply this time.
I wanted to FIX this I didn't want to PRAY about it! (yeah I know "what a jerk" your saying).
I knew I could enter the situation like superman and fix the problem with one flash of my heat vision! God said NO. He wanted me praying and interceding and counting on Him to do this HIS way. Ugh indeed. In truth I am still a little angry about it! (I'm sure you can't tell!)

Despise what I can do and LOVE what He can do. That's not easy. How many times does he put us in the situation of helplessness to teach us He is our help. How often do we rush in without thinking and steal from God the opportunity to show us His mercy?

THIS one my friends is going to take me some time to digest.
Helplessness and Hiddeness are the glory of the intercessor!
Ugh

My Resume

Matthew 7:21-29

21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' (emphasis mine)

Ok this got brought fresh to my mind this week. I've been exploring all I think God might be calling me too. Not just me but this generation of believers. "Laying claim to divine destiny." That is the phrase of the week, but then I get hit smack in the face with this.
Just take a look at this guys resume! He prophesied, he cast out demons, he did MANY miracles in the name of Jesus! How often have I longed for that resume; begged, pleaded with God to do these kind of things in me and through me? BUT LOOK WHAT HAPPENS TO THIS GUY!!!!! What is it that makes the difference? I have heard it preached that KNOWING JESUS is the difference because He says, "I never knew you". OK I'll take that but there is something before that too! In verse 21 he says "Only he who does the will of my Father" Jesus has just spent 2 whole chapters preaching to his disciples about authenticity and a kingdom lifestyle. This is the conclusion and the altar call of that message. Jesus is looking for real men and women interested not in what they can tell others they have done, but in the knowledge of God that comes through obedience to the will of Father even when it meant hiddeness and hardship. Oh God be my great reward. I pray that my answer would always be yes to you God. Even when nobody else knows it.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to see Jesus and have him say "I never knew you" Oh God lead me into obedience and the knowledge of God. Whatever it takes Father! I love you!

A fuzzy, silent, enigma

An odd title perhaps, but an apt one, as this blog has primarily to do with my walk with God. I have entered an odd time in my life that I have no previous experience to help explain. I don't mean to be dramatic, in fact there is NOTHING dramatic about it! I feel good, I feel God close, All is seemingly well, but silent. I am hearing nothing. I read the Bible and get good understanding but no deep and shaking revelation. I worship and feel His pleasure, but no direction. I pray and know He is listening but I receive no response.
Really this would be no problem or question in my heart other than this feeling of transition that won't go away. It feels like....I missed a turn, or missed my bus stop, or didn't get off the subway at my station. Oh God I HATE to have missed a prompting from your Spirit! I have prayed about it of course. I have begged God to help me understand. I don't know. I just don't know. If you read this please pray for me, that God would make it clear if I am to repent Oh I will! God reveal it! Show me how to get back on track. Or if I am indeed where you want me then give me assurance of it. So Satan has no ground to stand on.

Revelation 5

Revelation 5 - ESV - PLEASE READ THIS WHOLE CHAPTER THIS IS GOD'S WORD AND FAR MORE POWERFUL THAN ANYTHING I COULD EVER WRITE!

1 Then I saw in the right hand of him who was seated on the throne a scroll written within and on the back, sealed with seven seals. 2 And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals? 3 And no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll or to look into it, 4 and I began to weep loudly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll or to look into it. 5 And one of the elders said to me, Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.

6 And between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders I saw a Lamb standing, as though it had been slain, with seven horns and with seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth. 7 And he went and took the scroll from the right hand of him who was seated on the throne. 8 And when he had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9 And they sang a new song, saying, Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals,for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, 10 and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God,and they shall reign on the earth. 11 Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, 12 saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing! 13 And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever! 14 And the four living creatures said, Amen! and the elders fell down and worshiped.

This morning at IHOP we were singing out of this chapter and God flooded in! Wow. Several things happened. Several words came forth that I want to put out here:

1. Worship broke out in a massive way. We could not stop singing about JESUS in fact we didn't start in Revelation 5 we just ended up there. God took us there to see the lamb, and when we saw Him all we could do was worship! I could not stop singing these words "It's all for you!!!" I was shown the whole panorama of the universe in my mind's eye and all of it was worshiping Jesus from mountains to oceans to angels to little old me with my broken guitar and weak voice. We were all lifting a song to Him and He is so worthy

2. I heard the words, "Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals." God is speaking to the church in this hour. We look at the world around us and we see the mess that it is, we see all that is wrong with this world, and we despair just as John did. The scroll in the Father's hand is the title deed to the earth. It is the future of mankind and our planet. When John sees that there is no one to save the planet, no one to unfold the plan of God for mankind he weeps bitterly. I see the church weeping bitterly from despair today. I see a church so overwhelmed by the sin that surrounds her and stains her that she has no hope for the future and she weeps. Oh but I hear the elder's words! "BEHOLD THE LION OF THE TRIBE OF JUDAH!!!!!" BEHOLD THE LAMB!!!!! Church He Can and WILL unfold the destiny of the bride in this final hour! Only JESUS can do it and Only HE WILL!!!

3. Then Bridget Simpson got up and said she had seen a platform before the throne and that all of Heaven was being led by the worship that was happening on it, and that this morning we were on it before the Lord. She saw seraphim dancing in the midst - great word, but that's not all! After she had left God told me that the platform she had seen were the foundations of the house of prayer, of David's fallen tent being rebuilt in this final hour! That the foundations had been laid and completed and that God celebrated their completion! - The foundation of the house of prayer IS the revelation of the Lamb of God.

In other words we had a really good morning!

Fire

As we prayed last night before youth, I was overcome with fire. I have never to my knowledge ever felt fire like that on me before. I was weak I could not stand I began weeping and have not really stopped weeping since (it is now Thursday morning,) or rather I am always only a breath away from crying. I don't know what this is about. Just desperation, that is all I can feel.

Honestly - I feel like we know nothing of God. We think we do but in reality we don't know Him at all, we don't really believe him, we don't really trust Him. We trust ourselves and our understanding and we only USE God and His word to make ourselves feel righteous, and wise, and to make us look righteous and wise in the eyes of men. That is the reality of my heart Oh God forgive me! Show me truth. Lead me past foolishness to heart reality. In Jesus name

Holy Violence

Matthew 11:12 says -"From ^R388 the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers ^F243 violence, and violent men take ^F244 it by force" NASB
"From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force" ESV
"From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it." NIV
Perplexing and staggering words of Jesus. I have read several commentaries on this passage and they all disagree with each other!
As is often the case with our Lord however I think He meant it to be mysterious. He follows this enigmatic statement with the words, "He who has an ear let him hear". Oh God I want to hear! GIVE ME AN EAR!
These are the three ideas which all make sense to me. Then I will tell you what I think He is saying.
Meaning One: He is painting the picture of the Kingdom as a walled city with enemies all around it. There are men who would take the city by force ahead of the appointed time, such as those who were trying to make Jesus a literal earthly king in the Gospels, and Jesus is saying either John or the disciples of John who had come to Him were trying to force the coming of the Kingdom.
Meaning Two: The Kingdom of God is under attack, therefore only those who are violently searching for it can lay hold of it.
Meaning Three: The Kingdom of God is under attack, but it is moving forward with violent force against its attackers.

Here is where I have landed. The Kingdom of Heaven is attacked from every side. The Kingdom of Heaven is hated by the world and those who stand against the King. When one steps forward to serve this King, He sends them into the attack. He shows them the worth of His kingdom by showing them the anger of evil men against it. The King says, "those who would love this kingdom must fight more than those that hate it." This should not be a surprise to us. Look at what He did to take the throne!

Oh God. I long to take hold of your kingdom. I desire in my deepest places to grasp its value and its worth. Give me the endurance and the strength to survive the fight! To run the race so I might get the prize.